Beginning with Forever is Published

After promising for over a year, my book is finally completed and ready to be embraced by readers with a love for sweet romance, hot intimacy, drama, mystery and suspense. It is now LIVE on Amazon to be downloaded into your tablets. This book is on the longer side, but is sure to be a quick read because the excitement keeps you going to the end!
http://www.amazon.com/Beginning-Forever-Lan-LLP-ebook/dp/B00IGDJNSS/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1392415279&sr=1-1

Cover Release for 'Beginning with Forever'

What an exciting day it is for me to finally be able to share a piece of my heart with you! This is my book cover for 'Beginning with Forever' feel free to share it :) 

Beginning with Forever on Wattpad

Please check me out on Wattpad under my author name: Lan LLP

You can read the newest version of the first four chapters in book format.

Revised Chapter 1- Carson Bradley (Get to know him better)

Chapter 1

Carson

     These damn drinks are never stiff enough when I need them to be.  The fucked-up corner I forced myself into is now leaving me trapped. I’m hours away from marrying a woman I don’t love. What the hell was I thinking? I wasn’t…that’s the problem. I slide my empty glass towards the bartender and he attentively asks, “Would you like another one, sir?”

     “Yes, but this time, make it neat instead of up.” I firmly request. The damn ice will only dilute my buzz.

     “So you like it neat?” A beautiful brunette woman sitting three bar stools to the right of me flirts with her raspy voice. She's seductively dressed and obviously on the prowl for a man to fuck. I noticed her sending sexy body signals my way earlier, but I purposely ignored them. In my state of mind, nothing appeals to me, but this drink in my hand. I slam the clear vodka down my throat and relish the burn one last time. My body turns to face her, and I unexpectedly flirt back.

     “Yes, I do and what’s your preference, Ms.?” I finally offer her the attention she's been begging for, even though I really don't have the time or patience for it.

     “I like it up and dirty.” She replies with an implying wink.

     I don't pick up women at bars. I have more willing women throwing themselves at me than I can handle. However, tonight is her lucky night. I'm emotionally fucked and my nerves are raw. She'll be a good distraction from my anxiety. I know it makes me an asshole for using her this way, but I’ll deal with the guilt along with my regrets afterwards.

     First, I'll have to delay my flight to St. Maarten. I pull my phone out of my pants pocket and make a call to my assistant.

      “Owen, I need more time in Boston. Have Captain Franco reschedule our flight for later this evening.” I hesitantly change our plans as I scribble on a paper napkin. I’m angry with myself. Why did I let it go this far? I should’ve never fallen for my mother’s power of persuasion.

     I’m thankful Owen isn’t able to visually witness my volatility. I take pride in concealing my personal emotions from the world. Sometimes I do it so well, I fool myself.

      “Mr. Bradley, the forecast for this evening isn't favorable. We should leave as soon as possible to avoid the predicted storm. The groom should not be late for his own wedding.” He lucidly replies.

       Owen’s main priority is to ensure all aspects of my business and personal life run perfectly smooth, and he’s damn proficient at it. But for once in my life, I don’t give a shit about punctuality or staying on schedule. In fact, I wouldn't mind not showing up at all. I ignore his warning and firmly ask him to carry out my request.

     “I have one of the best pilots in the nation. I’m not apprehensive about a tropical storm. Call Ms. Sorte and tell her not to expect me until sometime tomorrow. I will not leave the premises until I'm absolutely convinced my executives are confident covering my position for the next five days.” I fabricate an unlikely ploy to convince him that its work I’m uncertain about, not my wedding. He knows it’s implausible. My executives are paid an exorbitant amount for their unquestioned capabilities. I’m relieved that he obliges and doesn’t challenge me again.  

     “Ms. Sorte will be informed, the flight will be delayed and pickup will now be 9:00 p.m. this evening instead. See you then, Mr. Bradley.” Owen replies in his monotone voice.

      I swipe the phone screen to end the call and write, ‘Ritz Carlton’ on the same napkin I’ve been scribbling on.  I settle both our bills with the bartender, tuck the napkin underneath her drink and walk away.

________________________________________

     I check into the Ritz Carlton alone. With my instruction, concierge discretely escorts her to my room fifteen minutes after my arrival and leaves her in my company. I'm lounging on a leather sofa in my dark gray Gucci suit, as she confidently makes her way towards me with her hot, curvaceous body. Her clothing peels away, piece by piece, as she gets closer. I’m positive this isn't her first time. She takes one last step and is now standing completely nude in front of me boasting her pendulous, perky breasts. I’m unaffected by them because my mind is somewhere else and so is my erection.

      “An hour, possibly two is all I have. No kissing.” I impassively tell her. I'm normally not this cold or heartless, but I'm struggling tonight. She allusively smiles in response.

      She lowers herself to her knees and spreads my legs apart. I hear my zipper and then immediately feel her warm, moist lips around my semi-hard cock. I throw my head back and close my eyes. She does all she can to excite me, but I fail to respond. What the fuck am I doing? My brain slaps me back to reality. I gently grab her wrists and push her off me. I zip my pants up and raise my body up and over hers. I look down into her confused eyes and apologize. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this. It’s not you. It’s me. Please take advantage of the room and any services you want. It’s all paid for.” I strut out of the room and leave her sitting naked on the floor, speechless…

      What’s wrong with me? Even though I don’t love Bianca, she deserves better than this. How did I fuck up my already shitty situation so badly? It doesn’t matter now. I need to make it right. Meaning, I will fly to St. Maarten and marry the woman my mother believes is perfect for me.

                   ______________________________________

         

     As I ride the elevator down to the main lobby, I try to regain my composure. I almost fucked a woman, whose name I don’t know, to prove to myself that I don’t love Bianca and that I shouldn’t marry her. Who does that? And where did it get me? I’m still on my way to St. Maarten and now, I also have guilt and regret to deal with. The elevator doors open, I step out and march towards the exit. The doorman hails a cab for me. “Bradley Pharmaceutical Enterprise” I tell the driver and step in. Owen will be coming for me in about an hour so I have to mentally prepare myself.

     As I blankly stare out of the cab window, I begin to recall the events that led me to this not so happy ending…

     For over ten years, I’ve dedicated much of my time to my pharmaceutical enterprise. I discovered the cure for early stage cancers and it kept me very busy. I didn’t know how to balance work and play, so my mother took it upon herself to make it her part-time job. She sought out eligible bachelorettes for me through her many social functions. I dated a few of them just to show her my appreciation for her efforts, but none of them offered me a connection I felt deep enough to pursue. It wasn’t entirely the women’s faults.  I can admit that I have an emotional handicap.  I refuse to allow anyone into my life, even Bianca, the woman I’m supposed to be marrying tomorrow.

     My mother had witnessed my years of self-torment. It broke her heart to see me debilitated because I had lost the one person who meant more to me than all the wealth I accumulated after her death. I mourned Emily for years. In fact, I probably never stopped mourning for her. I isolated myself from society. I basically had no life. The only two things I committed to were school and cancer research. I became obsessed with trying to find a way I could’ve saved Emily from that vile disease. My obsession led me to stumble upon a targeted cure for all early stage cancers. The success only made my situation worse. It isolated me even more because I spent all of my time trying to find the ultimate cure for cancer. Then to make matters go from bad to worse, I lost the one friend I made after Emily’s death to cancer, also. Professor Steward reached out to me when I was a freshman in college. He believed in my determination and guided me under his wings. Together we developed the drug that has made me one of the wealthiest men in the world. Unfortunately, Professor didn’t live long enough to reap the reward of our success. He lost his battle with pancreatic cancer. After his death, my obsession to find a cure for cancer sprung out of control.

     My obsession did not settle well with my mother nor would it for any mother. She became really concerned for my mental health. My mother intervened by creating a distraction for me. She helped me plan my first Lymphoma Yacht Function. It worked! I was completely excited about contributing to a fundraiser that benefitted cancer research and services. This little baby step led to bigger steps, like dating. After I got over my anxiety of the first date, eventually I felt more comfortable and sought the company of more women. I didn’t mind having my choice of beautiful women willingly offer themselves to me.

     Dating was one thing, but commitment was off limits for me. Again, my mother intervened. She couldn’t handle the idea of me not settling down and having children. I was approaching thirty at the time. She relentlessly pleaded with me every opportunity she had. She justified that she wasn’t getting any younger and that all her friends inconsiderately boasted about their beautiful grandbabies when she had none. Her brainwashing worked. I started to believe that she deserved happiness and grandbabies.

     My mother introduced me to Bianca a little over two years ago. She met her at some cancer fundraiser and fell in love with her for me. Bianca is no ordinary woman. She screams sex-appeal. She’s a beautiful platinum blonde, blue eyes with large supple breasts. She turns both men’s and women’s heads when she enters a room. Just like any typical man, I was not immune to her sensuality, at first. We had an amazing physical attraction. She knew how to satisfy me like no other woman could. She was also very accommodating.  Bianca did everything right to please me except for touching my heart. She didn’t know how to or maybe I didn’t allow her to. Regardless, I just couldn’t make myself love her, no matter how hard I tried. Several times I wanted to break off our engagement, but somehow, someway, my mother convinced me to stay with her. I guess I can blame my mother for loving me too much, but not for the shitty predicament I’m in. This is my fault for not being a man and ending it when I should’ve.

     The cab driver drops me off in front of my building. I give him my usual over the top tip and he thanks me for my generosity with a huge smile. The cool evening air feels nice. My tensed body and mind welcomes it as I walk into my building. I enter through a private side door and ride the elevator up to my office to wait for Owen to pick me up for our flight to St. Maarten. Tomorrow, I’ll be unhappily married to Bianca…

Facebook Author Page

Please follow me on my Facebook page. I'd love to hear comments about what you think of my book so far...it's been re-edited at least 10 times now.  I can't wait to share the finish product!  You will love the new version so much more:)

https://www.facebook.com/forevercarsonlillian

A little teaser from Chapter 17

“Do you find my accent or me sexy, Lily?”  

He smiles with his lips loosely pressed together and with one eyebrow arched.  His incessant erotic kissing seduces the area behind my ears and along my jaw, a very sensitive zone for me.  He knows my weakness, and he’s going for the kill.  It tickles and sends my neurons into an explosive electrical shock, arousing my entire body.

 

“I find everything about you sexy.”  I breathlessly confess what he’s been longing to hear. 

“C’est bon!  I want you to have eyes for only me, mon Amour, and no one else.  Qui, Mademoiselle Ly?”

 

“Keep this up and my faint vision of Amelia’s host will forever be erased.”  I taunt him while refraining from laughing.

 

He sensually grazes the length of my jawline with his lips and tongue, nips the delicate lobe of my ear with his teeth and slowly pulls away from my extremely aroused and willing body.  He leaves me yearning, almost shamefully begging for more.

 

“Carson, please don’t play hard to get with me.  I need you.”  I give him a sour pout for not getting my way.

 

His expression is subdued.  “You need to be punished for being naughty, for toying with my emotions, little Vixen.”  A playful smirk overtakes his frown as he fights hard to hide it.  

Chapter 3- Part 3

Lillian

An unexplained epidemic of local sick children pours into the hospital, causing chaotic panic among the staff.  Every room is completely occupied but the number of ill children continues to grow.  They’re vomiting and dry heaving unremittingly without any relief.  The awful smells and sounds are foul enough to make me gag my insides out.  But there is no time for weak stomachs.  I run around frantically attending to the ones who are helplessly waiting for assistance.  It brings overwhelming tears to my eyes seeing so many young babies and children crying in pain and discomfort.  The agonizing expressions on their faces are unbearable to witness.  I hate to see anyone cry in pain, especially children.  I want to gather every one of them into my arms and heal them immediately, take their suffering away.  I pick up a feeble infant boy who struggles to give out dim whimpering sounds.  Both of his parents are sobbing.  Their hearts are heavy with concern.  I hug him tightly in my arms and say a silent prayer while holding back my own tears.  “God, please help me cure all these innocent babies.”  I open my eyes, gather my strength and lead them down a congested hallway.
    

To my astonishment and disbelief, I see Mr. Bradley among a crowd of wailing people with his IV pole kindly assisting a family of three young children.  He generously offers them his private room.  He tenderly kneels down to one of the little girl and wipes her tears.  She grants him an uplifting smile, reaches for his hand and holds onto it.  He receives her gesture with delight.

Why is this arrogant, self-centered man being compassionate?  I’m confused.  My heart is even more confused.  The only thing I’m certain about is I can no longer deny my feelings for him.  Coincidentally at that very moment, he affectionately looks directly into my tearful eyes.  His expression is warm and sympathetic.  He sees right through my hard armor and directly into my heart.  I break our intense gaze and mouth, “Thank you!”  He rewards me with his heart-wrenching smile and playfully salutes me with his right hand. 

I call Amelia and Richard, who are both assigned to the same hospital thirty minutes from here, for reinforcement.  They came as soon as they completed their scheduled shifts.   I’m ecstatic and relieved to see them.  I need all the help I can gather.  I briefly introduce them to Mr. Bradley.  Richard is reserved and cautious when he shakes his hand, while Amelia is her amicable bubbly self.  We divided into six teams and eventually stabilized all the children by late evening.

It has been a long and exhausting evening.  We’re all completely drained and ready to crash.  I want nothing else but to fall into my bed and sleep for the next twenty-four hours.  The idea is pampering but impossible.  I could never afford the luxury of wasting that many hours on sleep.  I’m constantly committed to classes, studying and hospital rotations.  

As we walk around the corner to the main hospital entrance, I spot Mr. Bradley wearing ceil blue hospital scrubs speaking to someone on the phone.  He has a troubled expression on his face.  I jealously wonder who he’s talking to…maybe a girlfriend.  And why am I jealous?  Argh...I'm frustrated with myself.  I wave him over to our direction once he finished his call.  His expression lightens up. 

“Mr. Bradley, do you have a place to stay for the night since you kindly gave up your room?  You’re more than welcome to come back with us.  Even though you’re stable, it wouldn’t hurt to have medical staff at an arm’s reach.” I unexpectedly offer him.  I see both Richard and Amelia’s faces in complete shock. 

“Thank you for your generous offer, Dr. Ly.  I would really appreciate a place for tonight since my housing arrangements are not ready for this evening.”  The arrogant jerk I talked to several hours ago has seemed to disappear and is replaced with this more agreeable charming man. 

“You can stay with me.” Richard hesitantly offers.  I’m not surprise that he volunteers his place.  He must’ve sensed my attraction to Mr. Bradley and wants to keep the distance between us.  I don’t blame Richard for his ill feelings towards him.  I had assured Richard from the beginning that I have no room for romance and now, I’m obviously lusting over another man in front of him.  I have to admit it’s a better option for him to stay with Richard anyways.  I wouldn’t be able to sleep, knowing Mr. Bradley is merely steps away from me.  I don't trust my irrepressible hormones.

He drives off with Richard and I catch a ride with Amelia back to our dormitory.  Amelia questions me relentlessly about Mr. Bradley.  “What is going on between you and this handsome Mr. Bradley?  I've never seen you this animated around a man before.”  Am I that obvious? 

“I don’t know what you’re implying?  I’m just trying to be gracious to a homeless man.” I unconvincingly deny. 

“I’ll drop it for tonight because we are both dog tired, but I will need answers from you tomorrow, alright?”  She narrows her eyes sideways at me.  I nod my head to appease her.

We all arrived at the dormitory at the same time.  The air in the elevator is unbelievably thick as soon as the doors close and seal the four of us in.  I refrain from looking directly at Mr. Bradley but fail to avoid indulging my eyes at his handsome reflections from the stainless steel doors in front of us.  I see Richard’s impassive expression from the reflection as well.  No one opens their mouth, not even to breathe, it seems.  This is by far my longest elevator ride up to the tenth floor.  The doors finally open.  We single file out.  Women first and then the men follow behind.  Mr. Bradley unconsciously places his palm at my lower back to courteously guide me out.  His brief touch sends an ardent yearning sensation throughout my body but I shake it off promptly.  I can’t lose my control in front of everyone, especially Richard.     

“Good night.”  I softly bid him. 

“Good night, Dr. Ly.”  He responds with searching eyes.  I quickly evade them.  I’ve already made it this far.  I can’t fail now.

Richard leads Mr. Bradley in the direction of his room.  He’s not happy about sharing his place or his girl with this man.  I can clearly see it in his sulking eyes.  I steal several more irresistible glimpses of Mr. Handsome Bradley to add to my mental portfolio of him.  Amelia catches me but she’s too tired to wrestle for answers.  I’m sure she will not let me off the hook this easily tomorrow.  I better prepare myself for her many inquisitions.  But the second I enter my room, I plunge into my bed from extreme exhaustion.  I didn’t even have enough energy to dream about Mr. Bradley.  Well...maybe just a little one...

***Pictures are not mine.  They're shared via Pinterest.  The actor/model is NOT affiliated with this book.  The characters are fictional.***

This is the last chapter I will share with all of you.  I hope  that you've enjoyed reading the unedited version and will want to continue reading the remaining story when it becomes available via e-book.  I'm aiming for July 2013.  I will keep you posted via this blog.

Continue following this blog for sexy excerpts from further chapters.  The suspense at the end will make you want to read book 2 ;) 

Thank you for reading and supporting my first writing venture!!!!!

Lan LP